Toilet training can feel overwhelming—for both kids and parents. We often hear questions like “Is my child ready?”, “Why is this taking so long?” or “Are we doing this right?”.
In our recent Parent Connection session, Rhyannah our Lead Occupational Therapist shared practical tips, reassurance, and answered questions to support families navigating the toilet training journey, especially when neurodivergence, sensory needs, or developmental delays are part of the picture.
Whether you’re just starting out, in the thick of it, or feeling stuck, these tips are here to help make the process a little smoother to support a positive, fun and pressure-free experience for everyone involved.
Understanding What’s “Normal”
It’s common for parents to feel pressure from daycare or other families about when a child should be toilet trained. But development doesn’t follow a one-size-fits-all path.
Here’s what the developmental norms generally look like:
- 15–18 months – Recognising when they’re wet
- 20–24 months – Beginning to recognise the urge to go
- Around 3 years – Able to hold for up to two hours
- 4–5 years – Full daytime bladder control
- By 7 years – Night continence
For neurodivergent children or those with developmental delays, these milestones might come later with additional considerations for building safety in a new routine and processing the sensory environment. What’s important is creating a supportive environment tailored to your child’s needs.
Tips to Support Toilet Training
1. Set Yourself Up for Success
Toilet training can bring up all kinds of emotions; frustration, anxiety, even guilt. The first step is checking in with yourself and your motivation or ability to facilitate toilet training.
- Let go of external pressures and timelines.
- Think about your motivation. Are you starting because you’re ready, or because someone else thinks your child should be?
- Be patient and persistent. This is a journey, not a quick fix.
- Every child is different. What worked for one child won’t necessarily work for another.
And remember, your energy matters. If you’re anxious, your child will feel it too.
2. Set Up the Environment for Success
Before diving into undies, take time to prepare the physical and sensory space:
- Build familiarity: Read toilet-themed books, watch child-friendly toileting videos, and involve toys in pretend play.
- Make it accessible: Use a step stool, toilet insert, or even a potty for comfort and safety. Ensure your child’s feet are stabilised to support stability and attention to the routine.
- Reduce sensory overload: Turn off loud fans, dim the lights, or let your child wear headphones if it helps. Each child’s sensory needs are different, trial some different sensory adjustment to see what helps.
- Timing matters: Try to avoid starting during big life changes. Summer is often a good time due to lighter clothing and warmer weather.
Keep toilet trips short and positive (3–5 minutes), and use songs, books, or a favourite toy to make the space feel safe and calm.
3. Set Your Child Up for Success
Supporting your child’s readiness is key to success. Start by making sure they’re not constipated as it’s one of the biggest reasons toilet training can stall.
- Encourage regular movement and exercise.
- Make sure they’re drinking enough water, around 1–1.5 litres a day for 3–5 year olds. Use fun drink bottles, tally your intake with your child or add berries to water to boost interest.
- Increase fibre with fruits, veggies, and whole grains.
Also, look for signs of readiness: can they sit still, follow simple instructions, and stay dry for 1.5–2 hours? If yes, they may be ready to give it a go. However, just because there are no signs of readiness, does not mean you can’t start building their understanding around the routine.
4. Celebrate the Small Wins
Toileting is a big routine with lots of steps. So, celebrate progress no matter how small!
- Sat on the toilet for an extra 10 seconds? That’s a win.
- Looked at a visual schedule? Win.
- Told you after they went? Still a win.
Track progress to spot trends, give yourself grace, and focus on the next small step, not the finish line.
Q&A: Your Top Toileting Questions
Q: What if my child has developmental delays, how can I support them?
A: The toileting training journey may take longer for our children with developmental delays, but it is possible. Focus on building their understanding of the routine, look for individual signs of readiness, adjust the physical and sensory environment, and go at your child’s pace.
Q: My child is 2.5, non-verbal, and interested in flushing but not sitting, what can I do?
A: Start building understanding and familiarity with the toileting routine. Use consistent language around toileting with visuals and consistent routines. Create positive associations with the bathroom through play and exposure. Use books, videos and toys to model the toileting routine.
Q: How do I help my child wipe themselves?
A: Start when they’re comfortable pooping on the toilet. Use fun practice tools like a paper plate with Nutella or Vegemite to simulate the motion, know how much toilet paper to get and when to stop wiping. Reaching games can also help build coordination such as ‘guess what toy is under the chair’ or ‘finding your scarf tail’.
Q: Is it true kids don’t need to be dry at night until 7?
A: Yes. Night continence is developmentally not expected until age seven. Try reducing liquids the hour before bed and use a night nappy until they’re ready.
There is no one way to toilet train, focus on creating a positive and safe environment for your child to build their skills.
At Stronger Together Foundation, we’re here to support families at all stages with resources, programs, and encouragement that meets you where you’re at.
View the recording of the Parent Connection Workshop
Need more support? Ask your therapist or check out recommended resources like the Continence Foundation of Australia and Raising Children Network.
